|Posted: Thu Sep 06, 2007 5:16 am Post subject: Do All Guys Watch Porn?
|"Do All Guys Watch Porn?"
BY: Andrew W.
Yes. But there's a story I'd like to tell.
I was in one of my last months at Chapters when I was approached by a tall woman who asked for a recommendation. This 6 foot, pale skinned customer dressed in a three quarter length brown trench coat accessorized with a pair of sunglasses that made her look like a fly was looking for something in the fiction section. At the time, I wasn't reading much fiction and offered to reccommend a non-fiction book instead. She seemed open minded to the idea until I told her the name of the book I was reading, The Games We Play by Eric Berne.
"I can tell you all about the games we play, I just broke up with my boyfriend...".
The brown customer wearing jeans, a leather jacket and a white baseball cap who was browsing the shelves behind her turned and looked at me. I maintained eye contact and kept talking.
"I can't believe him. He invited me over to his house to hang out so I decided to make him dinner. Just as we were about to sit down and eat, I went to his room to get something of mine and found a porno dvd sitting on top of his dvd player. I put the dvd in his bowl of noodles and served it to him for dinner before I stormed out of the appartment."
I laughed for a good ten seconds before she asked, "Do all guys watch porn?"
The brown customer's head had jerked in our direction so fast that the ear-to-ear grin he had on his face was blurred. I had a hard time ignoring him and keeping this conversation serious (and I use serious as loosely as I've ever used it before).
"Yes," I said, "I think we do." I explained that I wasn't a believer in extremes and I'm sure there's a guy or two out there who don't but I'd bet money that the vast majority of guys do. It didn't phase her at all. Right away she said, "Then all guys are assholes and that's it. What's going to stop him from making the small leap to cheating on me?"
I stopped her dead in her tracks.
"Whoa, whoa.", I said, "It's not even close to a substitute. There aren't guys out there who are taking their VHS tapes out to dinner, or giving them rides home. There isn't any guy out there who, if given the choice, would rather spend time at home alone with the milf hunter than with a girl, and if he does, then you have bigger problems than just him watching porn. You have to ask yourself how much of this is about him watching porn and how much is this about you being insecure?" I could actually hear the swish of the basketball mesh, see the game winning grand-slam ball drift just right of the left field foul pole.
"YOU'RE RIGHT. OH MY GOD. I had a boyfriend who cheated on me when I was younger and I never got over it completely."
I nodded my head empathetically. She continued.
"It wasn't just the porn though. He's bi-polar and has been off his meds for a while now."
I swallowed again.
"He's been drinking heavily and smoking a lot of pot to "take the edge off". also, I looked through his night stand and found condoms. Not to be too graphic but we haven't been using condoms for months."
I swallowed a third time.
"We have a social worker friend and I tried talking to her but she won't return my phone calls and is evasive when I actually get in touch with her. I don't know what to do. You seem like a good guy, what do you think I should do?"
Slightly afraid for my safety and worried that I would get into trouble for ignoring the numerous pages from the managers who were trying to help me out, I replied, "I think you should keep trying to talk to your social worker friend. Don't give up on that and for all you know, I'm the scum of the earth. I have to get going now but I hope that everything works out for you."
I waved and walked into the receiving room.