Fortress Of Freedom Board
Bringing The Mass Media To The Masses!
 
 FAQ  Search  Usergroups  Memberlist  Profile  Log in to check your private messages  Register  Log in
A Social Club Of One.....
Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3 ... 261, 262, 263 ... 414, 415, 416  Next
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Fortress Of Freedom Board Forum Index -> Social Club
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Maurice Ali



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 7655
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Sat Feb 24, 2018 5:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok, everyone is telling me to cool it a bit on my rampaging “rictus of death” - raging.....


So one of the reasons a positive biopsy would have me laughing is that I thought I would be the poster child for the positive effects of a totally open mongrelized humanity. Part of the happiness idea was the breaking down of the barriers of religion, caste systems and socio-economic prejudices to marriage. This would give humanity’s genomes free rein to intermingle, and the result is hybrid vigor or some form of that. More importantly it makes people happier to mate and marry whoever they wish. The side benefit is reduced disease, mental illness and basically reduced everything in medical terms. Call it hybrid vigor or whatever, a closed system of interbreeding only leads to a weaker population. The human race as a whole will have a lengthier, healthier lifespan by unrestricted breeding anyway.


This is the opposite of controlled genetics; it is politically correct compatibility with current norms, so why not promote it. As a very mongrelized individual I look younger than I am, and am really healthy, until now of course. You could say that the sleep over’s I had to prepare myself mentally were really cancer in its later stages making me tired. But I was never tired. I was full of energy yesterday. Then the lump connected to the lymphatic system. I can see how the dots connect but it just does not feel like there is anything wrong. Most people feel there is something wrong prior to a positive diagnosis. But the fact is me getting cancer is another grenade in my philosophy of happiness and a global directive for humanity.





So in a sense this biopsy carries much weight behind it. A positive result is a nuclear bomb to my advocacy ambitions in so many ways. I really thought a mongrelised world would get that hardened genotype, that hardened DNA “kernel” that would resist cancer and other attacks leading to a stronger person that can survive better the changes in environment humans have a predisposition to changing. A big day coming up when the lab results come in. Having said that, the test results have been wrong in the past, there is always that. But one thing at a time, as I still have to survive BB Day (blood bath day). But I am fascinated as to how your reality can be turned upside-down in a day like this.


Frigging unreal.....



Goodnight.....





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2M8fl6MxUE&feature=share
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Maurice Ali



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 7655
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Sun Feb 25, 2018 9:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Web traffic is down, way down but that is to be expected.....


And thus the point of this post. No this is not a test, this is real. There is a lump on my lip and it is suspicious enough to cut it out and get a biopsy. My head is in the guillotine in the cancer scare olympics. But there is an upside and a way to cope through this and if you stay aboard you may get to glean a few nuggets of knowledge from my on-going experience.


First of all this should not be happening to me. I don’t smoke or drink. I am downing a bottle of wine this weekend as part of my final moments of normalcy/health binge. But I don’t really drink; in the last year maybe 7 beers and two or three bottles of wine. Prior to that maybe one or two beers and three glasses of wine. Prior to that no beer and three glasses of wine. No smokes of any kind. Not overweight. The probabilities should be on my side but you can’t let that lull you into comfort. You get the biopsy because they see something suspicious. – or maybe it’s routine. But the fact I seem to be fast tracked when you usually have to wait weeks for appointments is disconcerting. Even so, all you do is think – so why not – just revel in the moment!


Some call it morbid but it has done wonders for my perspective and peace of mind. First of all is your rationality. You have to keep it! Just think! I went to these guys for a cosmetic reason, but now I just want the thing cut out, all of it. Now – your rational mind tells you that if you have cancer there is nothing you can do now to change that. The biopsy results will merely confirm it. But you would already have it. If that is the case would you rather live on slightly questioning the possibility or would you rather know it now and deal with the options? So getting it cut out and tested is the right thing to do. You don’t have cancer when they tell you the results. You either have cancer now or you don’t but finding out is just the confirmation. That is where you find peace of mind. If you get a positive result it changes nothing as in you already have cancer. That piece of paper or email does not create cancer in your body. So your cards are already played even before this “crises” began. That is where you take your comfort. At lease you will have peace of mind with a confirmation.


Many people who get a positive result “felt” something was wrong. With me I feel fine, nothing wrong inside. So we shall see how that pans out. Rationality and my visceral feeling I made much of in further development of the human mind should say negative. But we will find out. A negative is go, go and go..... If positive we have to re-evaluate some parts. So I am deep in interest over all of this.


There are other positive sides to a health scare like this. You immediately feel a kin-ship with others in medical distress. Most healthy people will move away from someone who has bad medical problems. But getting a taste of what it is like makes you a more empathic person to those others is distress. You are not afraid to reach out or just connect. A health scare like this crystallizes things that you put off but need to be done if you were to die or get sent to a hospital in grave condition. Your will? Then you start to think about all sorts of things that would have to be done to get your house in order. A health scare is a positive thing in the end if it is negative because it jolts you into action of things we would rather not think about and as such never do.


So in the end the operation and the lab results are a good thing. The experience as a whole is a good thing. You come out a better human being and more empathic to the trials and tribulations of others. You are given free rein to act out emotionally in all manners as long as your are really living the moment of uncertainty. Once that – hopefully – negative result is given it is a no go, bad taste, cruel. But in the moment you get a pass to vent and be a feeling human being.


So I revel in the moment.


A positive or negative result will not change the condition I am in at this moment. I feel great right now. Hang on to that and just live.


In other news I got the artwork for Twenty6Hundred’s next album. I will wait until at least the operation is over, but it is mostly done. I bought a bottle of wine Saturday to eat with my Swiss Chalet dinner with a garden salad. That is how I live my last moments of health innocence before whatever happens. I did watch a movie called “Experimenter” which was about the obedience trials of which I will review later.


Later.....


BTW: I’m not callous, my head is in that guillotine - I could have cancer. You’ve seen the way I drive, I am a thrill seeker. I pay the edge. I worked at ground zero when the SARS crises in Toronto happened and worked in the area till the end in addition to being quarantined (and ended up with a case of shingles when it was all over). A bug chaser..... I play the edge, always have and it isn’t going to stop now.....




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlsRRL4pU3M&feature=share
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Maurice Ali



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 7655
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Mon Feb 26, 2018 5:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Here we go.....


It starts now! That thing should be cut out of me in a few hours and then we just wait for a verdict. The whole thing should be much about nothing, but if you look closely things don’t make sense; and it is that that worries you. Lip cancer is usually brought on by exposure to the sun. Very rare with an exceptionally good cure rate. My lump though, is in a relatively unexposed part and I’m a brown guy. So is cancer is moving from another area to another? That is serious stuff – if it is cancer. If it isn’t then it is all much to do about nothing. So that’s that emotional quagmire of the whole thing. Usually a lump this small on the lip is a quick fix but this case would be a shit storm into the abyss.


So you just go through the motions and wait. A positive means they go a looking for other areas and maybe slice and dice all over the place. And the remedies that basically include the butcher, the baker and the candle stick maker. Not good – not good.....


So you do get introspective. How much is my life worth you think? There is the financial side but that is just one optic. You really do ask yourself: “How much is my life worth?” For a person like me with no wife, no kids and such, it would come down to cash and the orgs I created. That is my value to the world in the end. So the priority is the orgs and what they were created for. Obviously I wanted them to have succession, but I also wanted to finish a program of advocacy with myself at the helm. It takes years to groom a successor; I have to concentrate on finishing up some important stuff if I get the word about cancer. I went in front of the camera last night and basically said that all in the name of entertainment, we do that too. So there will be no shirking of responsibilities in the orgs if I have to get aggressive about cancer. Everything has to be go, go, and go - pedal to the metal with the orgs. Everything; my upbringing and education and general life experience got me to a place where I could make real positive change. You have to go for it even with all the bad luck – because this is what your life is about in the end. So regardless of what happens today and until I get the lab results back, we will continue with the program at the UN to effect positive change for humanity.....



Goodnight.....





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0Y3A-zib-Q&feature=share
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Maurice Ali



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 7655
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Mon Feb 26, 2018 11:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It is out.....


Yes the operation was done and the thing is out. I now have a lip with a lot of stitches in it. There was actually was no bleeding when I got out of that office, and strangely no pain. Sure I noticed when the anaesthetic wore off but just a feeling, but I should mention that I have a high tolerance for pain. But it is out and I am well on the way to recovery. Tuesday is a regular day for me. But today was a liquid diet. I figured I might be physically tired but no, so I went to the mall and walked around. Then I washed the car and looked at some cars. I know is it cliché and simple, but hand washing my new car is fun and relaxing still! How corny and chauvinistic is that? But it worked magic and I even drank a mocha at Starbucks – though through a straw.....


So now all the proactive things are finished at my end when it comes to that big bad lump on the lip. The sample is sent off to the lab and we will get the results whenever. I have an appointment to see him next week for a follow-up. So I might find out then. But he asked me if I smoked and this leads me to believe there may be a bit of triage in tests and it may be a few weeks. He also wants to check out my gums at a later date so I figured if he was sure he was removing cancer tissue he probably would not have said that – but what do I know. Anyway I will just wait and not pursue the matter, as no news is good news.


If positive, like I said before – you already had the cancer and this just confirms it. So why worry more than you have to. But I have to admit that as a writer it is a unique experience to have your mortality thrust in your face unexpectedly and have to deal with it in a most immediate way. Perhaps I come across as a hypochondriac sissy, but that is actually how I felt. I’m not bullshitting anyone – that is exactly how I felt in the moment - and that will be how you feel in the same situation I’m sure. It is not over yet, but the shock and immediacy is wearing off and you are going back to normal until the next crises..... I’ll leave it there and update if the shit storm happens with a positive or more testing. Most are giving me odds of 80% negative and 20% positive; but nobody says negative is a sure thing. So there is reason to be concerned. But I have now done all I can – The rest is now out of my control.....


In other news I started taking care of the usual stuff. The tax man wants more information on IAIJ, I keep paying bills. I watched more movies like "Moon" and one of the Bourne films which I always love. I’m probably one of the few people you know that had nations putting me under a microscope when I first arrived at the UN. Russia seemed to know the most about the orgs and me. We are benign enough that it was just interest or surprise. But I’m pretty sure I was shadowed by this middle-aged guy in a Lincoln who got out of his car at the side of the road, looked me straight in the eyes like to confirm it was me and just laughed. Well then I guess I’m busted! But this type of international stuff just fascinates me, so I love these kinds of international intrigue movies. Now that we are no longer the flavour of the month, we nevertheless have a place in international matters. I get a ticker tape like roll call of events (on my cell phone) at the UN for speaking or observational roles to attend. At the very least observers are necessary to ensure participants and member states know their activities at the UN are being watched by organizations that have access and the ability to operate at the UN. It keeps things working good and proper that way and as a journalist association our involvement in this type of oversight is even more obvious.


But still, I want to get this lump business done and out of the way if possible. I made the mistake of checking something on the internet and now I am worried again - That internet! Honest to God, if cancer is spreading through the lymphatic system, I must be a picture of perfect health. No weight loss, in fact I am at about the highest weight ever, no lethargy, don’t feel ill at all. If this is stage 3-4 cancer what do people have to worry about? Of course that is gallows humour. You do it while you can and get away with it. Maybe I am too thick to notice the real symptoms. Maybe I am being eaten alive by cancer and just refuse to acknowledge that reality. Maybe the cancer is spreading through my body wrapping itself in my nerve endings and hiding and growing in organs and there is nothing, no treatment that can stop the inevitable. Well if that is my plight then I accept it. I welcome death – bring it on baby! We all have those questions about what will happen when we die – so I guess I will finally get the answers to those questions! Like Ian Fleming said: You only live twice; once when you are born, and twice when you look death in the face. Everyone ever born will have those questions answered. Everyone on earth today and going back in the history of time. They all faced the moment of death, and they all take their secrets into the unknown. That door, that portal – maybe opening for me....(Err..... If Death is reading this – Just kidding.....).....



Now that is what I call stilted writing.....




Goodnight.....





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCYc0NBVxkk&feature=share



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFDZKaIT7ro&feature=share
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Maurice Ali



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 7655
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Wed Feb 28, 2018 9:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I seem to be upsetting some of you with all this negative talk.



Whatever, so I revel in my mortality, my death, the coming darkness, the sleep I will never awaken from and the peace that is a cheat in that you will never know any other. So as I revel in all that, I seem to be upsetting some of you out there. Only women so far but the look in their face does not match what comes out of their mouths. Anyway, I’m still waiting on the test results and the doctor was specifically looking for cancer and he took more out of my mouth than I thought - but I like it that way; get it all out and make sure..... So I can’t feed you a rainbows and unicorns dream. We shall just wait and see and deal with it. I didn’t spend a lot of time with women. So I am thick to their nuances. I don’t know how to say the right thing at the right time or get a hint when they drop it. That probably explains why I am so bad at relationships..... So it is what it is, but I apologise if I upset some of you out there.


Having said all that I can finally eat regular food now. I can finally roll my tongue over my lower lip which now keeps it looking like a lip instead of some hard piece of plastic – improvements..... No regrets getting that thing cut out of me. But I have to get back to work around here. Twenty6Hundred has their stuff finished and we have to manufacture the CDs I will post the CD face after I get this post on-line. We may do this on our own and do it like this from now on. That means dealing with the CD manufacturer ourselves. We may have to fix a few things and spend more money but I think as one of the last real indie record labels we have to provide this service ourselves. We may also act as an intermediary to iTunes and streaming services as our catalogue seems to have reached the minimum to do this. Also, AAVRY KANPP (or some version of it) has finished recording new music and are ready to mix down. We may do something with the new music and it still has to be decided yet but Dan is back on the scene.




Twenty6Hundred's "Until The End" CD face!



All the above at the label is a play for possible airplay on TV and one last grab for that brass ring. Smart play by the way. Shane is also doing the same thing as we speak. So I have to get on with it. No (from yesterday), I don’t want to die but I have to function with this question hanging over me like a dark cloud. You would be a fool to ignore it but there it is. This could happen to anyone and maybe has to some of you reading this. So you know. I just have to wait and deal with it.


But thanks for the feelings everyone!







https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmgJ1p78CJc&feature=share


(NSFW) The opinions and views expressed here are solely the views of the Youtuber and not those of Maurice Ali or any company or organization connected to him:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJDd_8-epw0&feature=share
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Maurice Ali



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 7655
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2018 10:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think I really laid on the cancer thing too thick on this blog of sorts.....


Everything was true including my feelings and freaking out a bit at the outcomes. But many of you seem as concerned as me and that isn’t fair to you. Remember that my GP told me what it was and “was not impressed” ranking it in with the toe nail fungus I had on one toe. That toenail fungus, by-the-way, actually is continuing to take care of itself. From the root on up. It follows the same procedure as the medication. But my GP wasn’t crazy about the medication as you are on it for months and months until the entire nail grows out. I can’t remember, but I also think you have to check your kidneys now and then to make sure they are not being damaged by the prescription – That is too much trouble! Too much I guess unless you are a girl or model, but I tried Eucalyptus on the area and it seems to be doing the trick without medication. Just a little side note there. We over medicate for everything these days.....


But think I laid it on too thick. As for the surgery it is better than I thought - the bleeding he told me to expect – not even a smear on some tissue after I left. No pain at all. And it looks like you would be hard pressed to know anything happen in the corner of my mouth in the end. I did it for cosmetic reasons (didn’t want people to think it was a permanent herpes/canker sore) - that is why I went there in the first place – and it looks like I got my money’s worth from the surgery – Great! He did check for cancer but didn’t ever say the word cancer to me. He did mention biopsy and I didn’t question him. I see him again on Monday but the results should take two weeks to come back, so if I don’t go there the week after he probably won’t say anything if it is negative. Maybe he is just being careful, no doctor want malpractice suits because he assumed..... I would be a fool to completely discount cancer after all it was a red lesion, but as a non-drinker and non-smoker those probabilities should be really low.

Everything I have punched out has been faithful to the feelings I had and what I thought about inside. I was honest with you. If I was vain and thought I was Superman I would have kept quiet, but I like to write and exploring this area of mortality only comes rarely so I went with it. Say 20% which is low enough to start to go about normal things again with a slight bit of trepidation. But really, I feel great and the science says I should be able to ward off stuff like cancer easily due to my genetic makeup; otherwise geneticists have got it all wrong. We shall see in the end. But expect that maybe my actual expected answer will be no answer at all.







In other news we are still looking over the artwork for the New Twenty6Hundred CD. Here is the tray card. Remember we are still looking at the thing and changes could be made but it is all mostly there as it is.




Goodnight.....





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEE7BwQwIjg&feature=share
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Maurice Ali



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 7655
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Fri Mar 02, 2018 1:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A bummer of a day.....


I’m depressed. Yes, it’s about the biopsy thing. But more than that, the experiment and my yearning for people to incorporate their visceral feelings into decision making is being endorsed by my current predicament, as in the visceral side of our minds as an adjunct to decision making and general lifestyle.


Ok, so I gave my mostly analytically bent thought processes to my emotions and feelings when the cancer scare began – and – look what happened. I did not get irrational as much as it crystallized what was important to me and what I had to do with the orgs if I became infirmed or died. That much actually did work out. The visceral side of my psyche came through at the moment of truth to help hold down the fort in crises and present a game plan to salvage as much of my life’s work as possible. Visceral thought developed properly and at a young age is that extra gear AI does not have as it’s synthetic and keeps humans and humanity relevant in the future. More and more I seem to have a cohesive game plan to present onto the world’s stage in advocacy.


It was always a sort of rule that if you let your visceral side get the better of you – you became irrational and had to be literally slapped (in your face) back into your right mind. This was especially fashionable in the mid-twentieth century where everyone thought and even talked like machines. All emotion had to be expunged from decision making. Under my philosophy - that rule will change. So allow me some latitude to explore that side of my consciousness in real time under real life situations and stresses. I don’t expect story book endings but you make what you can out of the opportunities life throws at you.




Goodnight.....





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zW1O-8BCFjU&feature=share
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Maurice Ali



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 7655
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2018 3:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well the last week (Friday – Friday) was one of the crappier weeks of my life.....


That is when you come into an office with an innocent request for some cosmetic surgery and get handed a cancer scare. You basically live it up that last weekend before surgery and then the slice and dice happens and the wait for the inevitable news one way or the other. On top of this I got a bad cold with snot and hacking cough and all the rest. Just a miserable week and the next week is not a happy dance either.



Emily all of 17 with our first press card!


This is the way our lives go down. We are getting older and you are not quite the superman you thought you were. If it is not you failing it is others. We all started this adventure much younger than we are now and look at us. About 15 years all told for me now. When Emily first took a picture with our first press card she was all of 17 at the time. Sam was all of 15 when she popped up on my radar scope. Now Emily is in her thirties with three kids and Sam is 28! Shane was in his late twenties when he joined and now is 40! All the guys in the first TV show were in their late 30s and now into their 50s. I was only 42 when I decided to start this thing – under a concern for the global welfare of the teenagers I met on-line and now here we are knocking on their door. Ha – I had to look and just downloaded “Knockin” from Double Vision from back in my day. Anyway I was shocked at how much of our lives went into this little adventure. One way or another it seems I am destined to take this story to my grave.



Shane and Sam (all of 15)! back in the day!


I actually have a comprehensive plan for the future of humanity and all I have to do now is disseminate the ideas on the world’s stage. Most of it is already done but not all of it. This is my contribution for my fellow humans, and it consumed all of me in the end! No matter, but I would rather run out the clock healthy and standing – Just say’ in! But it is a shock to realize you came into this thing a young man and now I am an old man. How did that happen – time really does fly!


There is no starting over for me now. It is all on me in this one play for all the marbles.....


It is funny to see how all this played out. I had my dream and was all but written off – and like will to power I seem to have just sidestepped into another reality and – bingo – I am right there to make my play! Just like that..... This past week – the smart money would say it is just a distraction, a side event to add spice to the adventure, but not the main event. I clarified things in my mind as you will only get one shot at the brass ring. Anyway I guess we will find out. But the world really is yours for the taking. Few have the balls, the chutzpah, the ideas to mess with the world like I am trying to. That person is so rare they stick out like a sore thumb and make it to that place of power and influence to make their case for change. As corny as it is the world is yours if you really want it..... You would think everyone would want this. But there is no money, no power as people have to buy into the ideas – you can’t make them; no girls, no big house – So why would any mortal want this? Answer: influence and that moral imperative..... Just bizarre how it all turned out in the end.....


Goodnight.....





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lk2-bgwA0Ro&feature=share
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Maurice Ali



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 7655
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 12:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Today is going to be a normal day.....


Monday I see the guy who did the biopsy and that is a loaded appointment. Around here it takes at least two weeks to get biopsy results so I don’t expect to get any there. He will look at the surgery and check for infection and so on. Two things that worry me. One is that the original appointment was for Monday at 9:45 and on Friday I get a call from the secretary to confirm the appointment for 9:30. Her voice also sounded funny like she was crying or something. Did they find out I had cancer and needed more time for the appointment? Was that strange sound in her voice merely that she made a scheduling error and wanted to see if I was ok fifteen minutes earlier? Who knows but I would have been more comfortable with none of that happening. A quick Google shows most get the news by phone when it comes in. They usually don’t leave it lying around. In my case I had to go back there for the follow up surgery visit so in my case they may just wait – and I hate to say this but it was Friday.....


We shall soon see the abilities of my pre-cognition as I will be there bright and early tomorrow morning. It is interesting to read how people got the news. One woman said she was prepared in her mind - then she got the news – her legs got rubbery and she puked. I guess there is no good way to tell someone they have cancer. For me I would prefer they just phoned me and told me when they found out and made an appointment later if they wished. If my doctor knew on Friday the results, I would be pissed at having them play this Kabuki charade of having me come in early to get the news. Treat me like a man and tell me as soon as you know. Sure the weekend will suck but it will suck whenever you get the news so why bother.


BTW, I have never read anyone with a lump on their lip getting cancer, that is how rare this is in the grand scheme of cancers. But there is a positive side to this experience especially if it turns out negative. First of all you learn – in real time – what is important in your life when you get a cancer scare. And you promise to do something about it regardless of the results. You also start to take your health more seriously. I am finally eating better even though that means nothing in my present situation. I have also been putting off medical exams and such and now will ease myself into them. It really is a stress test to see how you handle emergencies and a cancer scare is one of the best ways to test your emotional handling abilities. So even if it is a negative there is still a positive to be gained from the experience – and a positive in a good way. If positive that is a negative in a big way and you will just have to enter into a new life along with many others. Most agree the scariest time is the waiting for the word – but not all.


So my paranoid predisposition is ramped up to 10/10 and things will play out the way they play out. But that phone call has me more worried than ever. You guys on the net are the first to hear this. I didn’t even talk about it to anyone this weekend. I just plain forgot – how about that? How could I forget about that? But I did. Anyway there is no point in my prattling on anymore about this. You have as much facts as I have.....



Goodnight.....






https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZ8p9R_2Mg0&feature=share
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Maurice Ali



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 7655
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2018 11:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I waited until after my visit to the surgeon who checked out the job and said all was good. He finally talked about the biopsy results and that worst was when it comes back really fast! But we will just have to wait a bit longer. They made am appointment for a month down the road where he will look at it one last time and check out the other areas he worked on in the past as well as any work he may need to do. When I checked out the receptionist told me some get concerned waiting for the results..... I would say “some” is the biggest understatement in the world. How about “all” – as I can’t see anyone getting blasé about biopsy results! Anyway I found out then about the phone it in thing and told them I am just tired from reading about it on the internet and that if it is positive the results did not give me cancer as I had it already..... Blah, blah, blah. The surgeon came out and I talked a bit about how at my age you are going to die from something, may not be today or a year from now but you will get the gist of what will get you in the end.


And so now we just wait.


In the end my precognitive abilities were total crap. The receptionist knew nothing. That lilt in her voice was just the way she started all the calls. The change in appointment times did not have anything to do with the test results. It was all crap thought on my part – so the only thing to do is wait and get the results. And so I will leave it there and move on to other things until I get word.


If you go back a few pages you will see where I revelled in the idea I felt invincible! I don’t feel that way anymore. That box may never get closed again. I just have to adjust to this new reality where you get pocked and prodded on a regular basis and get stuff sent off for test results. Then rinse and repeat until something pops up and you start to fight for your life. It is inevitable, the only question is when – When? And that is the reality that will live on in the back ground even if the results of this biopsy are negative. You don’t need to know my cholesterol reading, or any upcoming colonoscopy results, but this first one that broke the innocence of health for me was worth an examination – no pun intended. And that is it. I will finish watching a movie this morning and wash the dishes and just get on with it.....



Later.....
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Maurice Ali



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 7655
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2018 10:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This may be the first normal day since before all this began. I started by emailing people and telling them what’s been going on and it’s not just about me.....


But I have to get back on the horse again. I also have to clean up my place. The dishes – The Dishes! A pile quite literally. I did get my expensive TOTO toilet working regularly again just by spraying mild cleaner in the mechanism in the tank – why didn’t I think about that before? I have tax stuff, bills, memberships and the record label stuff. It all conspirers to force you back into the real world. You have to keep things in perspective. This one woman leaving the hospital/clinic after finding out screamed at the top of her lungs “I HAVE CANCER” and she looks around and everyone was just going about their everyday lives – and that is really the size of it.....





I also was thinking about FOF Records. We had some minor trade wars with others about the name/brand “FOF Records” and now we truly won the name having it trademarked and incorporated and all. Even FOF Entertainment is incorporated and trademarked and I have all the top domains for those names. Just business folks..... Dog eat dog world..... But there is a short list of bands that went under our label name back in the day. Some of them were quite good too. So if the TV stuff starts going somewhere we may contact or communicate with those artists and see if they want to climb aboard and see where it goes, their past stuff is easily transferred to our workspace and maybe we can be good for each other.







Just saying.....




Goodnight.....





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hbiw8IxrMWw&feature=share


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OftRGrnSFUk&feature=share


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44lmfg9BO7w&feature=share
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Maurice Ali



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 7655
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2018 10:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I actually did finish washing the dishes yesterday so things are moving forward. For Wednesday I will send some correspondence back to the tax man and make sure all the bills are paid. This is a stress test and I am learning to compartmentalize better and keep functioning. Be a better manager and all that – yadda, yadda, yadda.....


As for FOF Records refugees there are many more. I actually have a song by The Red Chord on my phone in rotation. I would say this band is not so much Death Metal as much as creating “Death Core” well before others like “Suicide Silence” (R.I.P. Mitch). I am not really a Death Metal fan as much as I like music that tries to access that visceral, guttural side of our psych (part of my agenda to develop and expand our minds) and it does not have to be negative (the lead vocalist for TRC is now a cop – “To Serve and Protect” – go figure.....Hehehehehehe.....). You have seen before my love of “scat” which also comes from within. Other positive alternatives to Death Metal? How about Bjork, as in her latest stuff from the end of 2017. I would say “Utopia” is an example of the inner self expressing itself – maybe? But I am no expert in music though some Death Metal band mates call me “schooled” – but maybe they are just buttering me up in case they need me some day.


Anyway that is what is going through my mind. I will try to preen myself up a bit as I let myself go the past week or so. Just keep an open mind to the stuff I prattle about. Listen to the music or watch the videos to the end. Keep an open mind as we all don’t know it all.....


Just say ‘in.....



Goodnight.....





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHno2Hm60sA&feature=share


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sqbv7cCM5AI&feature=share


(NSFW)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=312Sb-2PovA&feature=share
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Maurice Ali



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 7655
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2018 9:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well I cleaned up the bathroom and that with the cleanup of the kitchen seems to have done the trick and I am back in action!


The cold I had everyone says was the flu but that is definitely in remission too. So I am getting back into the usual groove again. I actually have to pull back on the reins a bit as I still should take it a bit easy – no spring chicken anymore. The music stuff is top of mind but as it is Thursday I think my business trips will be done next week as we have three musical projects on the go as I type this. Then there still is the TV and UN stuff. The cancer scare thing just throws a monkey wrench into the mix I really didn’t need at the time but there you have it. This was self-made as I could have waited about the lump in the mouth. Having said that the work done was fab and you really can’t tell anything was done there at all after a little over a week. So it was a cosmetic improvement if nothing else comes of it. If there is cancer – and everyone including the surgeon tells me it is unlikely – then you deal with it. Stuff like this will happen – let me repeat – “will” happen at the worst moments and this one was just another variant of that. I don’t want to jinx myself by saying that there is no chance because there is – a lump grew on my lip – how can you deny that? But so much time has passed that you realize life goes on and that you can get used to anything. It’s at the point where I am not even looking for the phone call from the doctor’s office with the results as desperately as I was before. Time does that to things I guess.


So back to the usual until the unusual upsets the apple cart again. It would be nice to get back to where I was like two weeks ago before all this started. How your life can change on a dime is simply breath-taking when you live the moment. That past life - two weeks ago - is just this wonderful pipe dream now..... Even if the results are negative, my health is top of mind now and I can’t ignore it any longer.....


Just bizarre.....


BTW: I’m listening and watching some Jimi Hendrix and it always amazes me how he always dresses and looks “cool” while his band mates look dated and ridiculous over forty years later. The man even sounds cool and undated the way he talks. Wow!





Goodnight.....





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFHPgoZlSWY&feature=share


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3U5dvC5qr6Y&feature=share
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Maurice Ali



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 7655
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 1:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A late one today as I was downtown for the morning.....





Andy Krehm



Doing things downtown in Toronto on a weekday requires planning. You drive down the expressways to downtown in “traffic jam lite” which is just after the regular rush hours. So I was hitting my errands and before I came back up to the office I visited Silverbirch Productions on Queens’ Quay near the lake. Silverbirch and Andy Krehm are doing just fine mastering and producing CDs and digital files as well are recording and all aspects of music production. Shane specifically asked for Andy to master his material and probably Dan’s also so we will include Twenty6Hundred’s CD manufacture in there as well and give all our business to a friend and business acquaintance. Check them out if you are making music:



http://silverbirchprod.com



Everything is back to normal now and we are also recruiting people for FOF and IAIJ as we just continue to grow. I default to the young people since this advocacy is geared to the youth and the world they will inherit. So we just continue on and see where all this will take us. The growth is encouraging and concerning as you have to worry about the structural growth of an organization that can require costs for that extra structure that can bury you. I designed Fortress to handle this by having it run on vapours from the start, but others that add fixed costs and keep adding costs to their organizations with growth – can eventually bury their business under operating costs. So we grow but keep doing it on the cheap. That is the design for the future ongoing around here anyway.....




Later.....
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Maurice Ali



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 7655
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Sat Mar 10, 2018 1:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Taking the weekend easy but still doing stuff....







Taxes and music for the weekend and watching movies! I am also filing stuff away and making sure everything at the orgs is purring away as it should. And really that is about it. Just relaxing, chilling hanging back, liming.....



Later.....
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Fortress Of Freedom Board Forum Index -> Social Club All times are GMT - 5 Hours
Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3 ... 261, 262, 263 ... 414, 415, 416  Next
Page 262 of 416

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group

affiance theme by sparsely