Joined: 18 Sep 2006
|What It Means To Be A Mother
What does it mean to be mother? I am twenty one years old now and became a mother at twenty. It was an unplanned pregnancy (heat of the moment thing) and I am now a single mother raising a beautiful 12 month old girl. She was born through natural childbirth on August 10, 2005 and weighed seven pounds fourteen ounces. I was in labor for sixteen hours but the actual delivery happened fast, like ten minutes after I stated pushing...that was the best part. She was very beautiful!
During the pregnancy I felt like shit, because the father and I...was like really off... He wanted the baby and all but was married...he was twenty eight. When she was born I was pretty happy but also scared because I was young and totally by myself. I'm still young, but trust me - you learn a lot in that first year. I was by myself, struggle, struggle, struggle! That is all I can say...struggle. I eventually lived with my sister who was also on maternity leave, so we were together.
I am always asked if I could turn back the clock...would I do it again at that age? Nope! You know what...at that age I'm so young and this is the time right now when I'm supposed to be out and enjoying life. So if I did have a choice I would wait, but I would not give back Angeline for the world! If I could have waited for her, I would have waited for her because I believe - I am a good mother - but I would have been better later if I had the experience of life for a while longer...
As for bottle baby or breast fed - breast fed, trust me it is so...much cheaper - its free, its there and its meant for the baby so I figured: Why not?
I am back at work. Being back at work is such a good thing. When you are at home with your baby during maternity leave - day in and day out - granted I love her and everything like that; "but "Jesus Christ" can somebody take her away for an hour...hehehehehe..." I'm telling ya! So being back at work gives me the time to appreciate and miss her so when I go home it feels better...
As for my social life - man... besides coming to work I don't have a social life! As for how men react when they find out I am a single mother, well most don't care, but most are scumbags...hehehehe... They are not looking for any sort of full-term relationship - that is why I don't talk to men. Right now my daughter is my main issue. I don't trust men and I don't want a one night stand.
I would rather have waited before I had a kid. The responsibility - although I love my daughter and I'm really glad to be a mother and that - the responsibility is so fierce... You don't even understand it until you have a kid. And so now that I have a kid I realize I could have waited and I wish I waited just so I had those extra years available to not have any responsibility except to myself.
As for being a stay at home mother or a working mother: I like the balance - to tell you the truth - I like the balance of a working mother. It makes me miss my daughter more, it makes me appreciate her more than when I have her 24/7. Because, you don't understand - its a hard job. It really is, and when you are so young - I came from being so young and having no responsibilities and seeing all my friends just party and do whatever they want like go to school, go to work, make money... Spend it all on themselves. Having to work because I have my daughter; I have to feed her and clothe her and nothing is for myself.
As for advice on motherhood: I suggest that you wait...and if you are ready...man...you are not ready! I think that the longer you wait the better because the more time you have to spend with yourself to find out who you are, the better of the child is going to be with you. Because you will be ready, happy and willing to take care of your kid and put aside your life - because I wasn't, I was forced into it; and its not bad, I don't want to give people the wrong impression - like I hate it or whatever. It is just that when you are in a relationship with guys, make sure they are there for you. It is hard to do that because guys talk a lot - and so will girls; but I mean if you are going to have it, be ready willing and able to do it by yourself. And that is it!