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Maurice Ali
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2018 9:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 5517
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

I need sleep but it is too late to sleep…..


I had a really rough night. I had one of those moments when you realize that this reality you created around you is really just a house of cards, a paper lion in so many ways. You were a curiosity and many had sympathy and opened doors for you and such. I took advantage of that and tried to do my best and we as an organization are still pitching. But for me, personally, you have those moments of clarity that you notice that it is still a house of cards around you and that things can come crashing down quickly or crumbling down more accurately.


You are not married, no kids, this is the lives of most, something they can still show when they breathe their final breath. They still have that! But in my case I just have so much Kabuki in the end. Maybe, maybe something we do sticks and becomes part of the fabric of our culture. But it is more problematic that things will just wind down and you end up with nothing. I am not the only one. There are many who forgo the traditional life and try to make the world better by doing what I have been doing. I have met and been help by many such individuals. They are like me in a way and their intentions are the best. Many have nice titles and positions of some power or influence. Then they just disappear and you wonder how they are, how they are doing. If they are like me, when you take the altruistic, the positive advocacy away, you end up with nothing. It’s like this secret society of lonely people. I really feel for them as this is a lonely road we took, full of promise and good intentions. As the years pass things change and people move on and are replaced. The foundation upon which you started crumbles as the people you knew start to disappear and the new guard don’t know you and maybe don’t care. Maybe as a group you all had your day and now it’s time for something new and different: Make way for tomorrow…..


You start to look for those people, make sure they are ok, and some just disappear. I don’t know how best to describe that feeling and that moment. It is like a two way street, as they disappear, you disappear. I made a mistake and I will pay for it. Not a big thing in the end but a meaningful and personal one for me.


You notice as time goes by that all those you started with and who helped you along, well they are gone now and it is just you. The interested support system is at best now just an audience. You built a house of cards and it still stands but anything can make it come crashing down as it is just you now standing on that house of cards to make those final all important plays. Then it comes crashing down and you join all of them. Your generation’s reign is through!


Ok, I slept on that bit of melancholia. In the end it was nothing I did, things just happen. My problem is that I continue to grow – at least for the present – while most of my contemporaries are retiring or moving on. This is the way the situation is and all you can do is what you can do, but some cannot be undone. Anyway I am still a player and I have a rare opportunity to go for it. So we are going for it! What happens after that is not my concern now as it is the same fate no matter what I do now. So just make the play, and right now that means finishing the supplementary pamphlet and cover letter and sending it off to the Pope! I should have the pamphlet done today and I am using Starbucks as the bribe to get it done – so it will be done. Then the important cover letter and off by the end of the week and then we wait. In other words we wait and get ready for Bhutan and then the TV stuff…..


Oh, and I still have to oversee the reno work.....





Working on the roof!




Goodnight…..





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UK93FOMDsUM&feature=share
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Maurice Ali
PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2018 7:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 5517
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Punching this on my cell phone as there is not enough time .....





The supplemental materials pamphlet is done. So we have the actual report, the TV pamphlet, the supplemental information pamphlet, the TV shows and the rotating display! Now all I have to do is nail down that cover letter and supporting pages and then send it in. To be honest it has been a grind for this first one but the rest will be much easier. But I really have to hit it out of the park on that cover letter. Talk as if you are addressing his Holiness, Pope Francis himself.

I also have to do other (more mundane stuff) like pay bills and send them off. IAIJ is really busy right now. Just keep at it.



Make the play. Make the play. Make the play.....



Goodnight.....




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gY0W6VQ0MI4&feature=share
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Maurice Ali
PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2018 8:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 5517
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

We are almost done with the positive mandate!


I will start to hand out the cover letter to my gang and have them look it over and comment on it. We will still tweak it further, then lock it down and make final preparations. I will also add the actual positive mandate to that rotating display. We should make sure we are sending the package to the most appropriate place. Then we wait.


I am rather curious what happens next. I expect - well I don’t know – and that is the fun here apart from its altruistic purpose. We are now seriously doing what we were meant to do and that is a landmark of sorts. I bribed myself with Starbucks if I finished the letter and I have so off I go. I will also check Staples and settle on the folder we shall send the material in. There is light at the end of the tunnel.


Later…..
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Maurice Ali
PostPosted: Fri May 11, 2018 10:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 5517
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Almost finished!




That one elastic tab is too insecure for the Vatican advocacy so I replaced it with something better!!


I decided to pick up a better folder to house all of our stuff. It’s zippered so as it gets opened and closed it will maintain its integrity. Apart from that we just keep re-reading and editing the cover letter and then just send it in. Just like that. Then a bit of a break and we just move on to the next.


I am really getting interested in what happens to that package, like a mini-adventure in itself. But we shall just see what happens. There still is the TV stuff and all the rest, a bit much sometimes. There is always the constant bleed on resources to keep the lights on and the phone lines open, the servers running and on and on…. But we are able to do things others can’t –as in almost everyone else in the world. So we just keep going.


But seriously, I just want to send it in and take a break for a few days…..




Goodnight…..





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDscwJvNjvo&feature=share

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFT1l50CgHo&feature=share
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Maurice Ali
PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2018 2:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 5517
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

A late one today. I redid the positive mandate pamphlet. Now all that is left is the cover letter. Things are a go.


For what it s worth I want the kids to see that after all this time I get my chance to grab the brass ring. We have a chance. I figured it out with the printer to be one in 20. Those are gambler’s odds. Far better than the one in 14 million for the lotto jackpots, and here we have some control over things as they go along. Seriously it is all good now. Judge the person by what they did and not so much on outcomes that need others to happen. Human frailty is everywhere and you need luck.


Anyway I have much more to do but one more day or so and it is over. The other nations will be much easier because much of the advocacy is the same and sort of like “insert nation here” type of thing.




Later…..
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Maurice Ali
PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2018 4:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 5517
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

For Sunday I will just go over and over the cover letter and label the package and get everything ready to ship out. And then on Monday we ship it out. Then expect nothing to happen…..Hehehehehehe…..


But the real advocacy has has begun. My cards are played out now but you do think about your choices in life. You can just live your life as an individual. Live it just for yourself. Things are easier, just pick a mate and have kids. Work and make as much money as you can to get a house and travel and buy stuff and have fun! Things work out much better and are more of a sure thing this way. My way is the exact opposite. Live for everyone else, no wife, no kids. Spend your money on everything but yourself. And absolutely nothing is a sure thing. Some would say that is a fool’s mission and they would be right.


They would be right, so why did I choose this path? I guess because I didn’t have any choice. Well there is living for yourself without the wife and kids, but that gets boring. So I tried to be dynamic. What pisses off so many is that we actually scored a few times. But that is not enough for the true pay-off. But we are still in it. We shall just have to see where it takes us. Maybe nowhere, and that will be my story.


I remember when I was nineteen wondering about my mortality and worrying about it but noting I was still a teenager and had lots of life to live. Now look at me! Time has passed me by. It went faster than I thought. People around me are running out the clock and dying. My contemporaries are retiring. Why would I retire? Retire to what? Time is not my friend. Time is not on my side!



The Three Fates



The Fates have given me the play, that brass ring! But is that the sum total of a life? In the grand scheme of 7.5 billion people I guess you could rationalize it that way. Personally I don’t know. But I’m just this individual and will soon die off just like everyone else and then what was the point of your life. Carrying it on for humanity is what the others did and that has purpose. You – are a free martin and you can score big or more probably die a meaningless life. Did I have a choice? I thought I did but probably not in the end. My choice was a life of selfish loneliness or what I am doing now.


And so here I am now.


Just make the play and try as hard as you can for positive change. Nobody will help you. And true victory will be in a personal vacuum, then you are played out and die a lonely death. Sounds good to me - Not! But no choice either…..


I did it for the kids because they had no part in what happened to me - that is why. My kinship is with the kids that did not hurt me and my sum total was directed to their welfare. That blank slate; that reset button that is the new generation. That is the focus of my altruism. And there you have it I guess…..



Goodnight…..





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEqlBveP_Rg&feature=share
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Maurice Ali
PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2018 2:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 5517
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Well we are basically ready to mail out the advocacy.


The only question is whether to send the thing to the usual Vatican Mailroom or to the Pope’s residence. He does not live at the traditional apartment but at another address (Saint Martha House). Since we have two chances here I may just chance it and go straight to his home address!



Vatican City


His Holiness, Pope Francis is an absolute wild card for a response. He has been known to write back or even phone people back! You really don’t know what will happen when you send something as interesting as the package we are sending. Since I am sending it to his home address the cover letter is written just for him. I know this will be looked at by a staffer but the language and tone is directed at him. At first I didn’t think this really possible but – yes – I was able to craft the letter directly to him while keeping it open for the staffers to read (if that is the right way to say it). In other words the letter implies that His Holiness actually needs to read and reply himself as opposed to a staffer. And that was the intent of it all.


I can’t sleep for some reason. I just want to send the thing off and cross my fingers. This was the advocacy I wanted and now the reality hits you with promise and futility all rolled into one. You have a gambler’s chance and right now that is better than any other individual in the world. It is sad to think that statement is probably true of all 7.5 Billion – but there you have it. I make the play and see how it plays out.


Today was Mother’s Day and mom was a Roman Catholic. I regret she was not alive to see this played out. She was my biggest fan. You never know what you have till you lose it.



Goodnight…..





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CMZSw7vS8M&feature=share

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WJ_2ycsHl8&feature=share
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Maurice Ali
PostPosted: Tue May 15, 2018 7:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 5517
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Ok, I did write up an update last night and then fell asleep. Upon waking I found it a bit over the top, but that was how I felt last night so it stays with this caveat that I am back to normal. Being who I am, they (North American society) won’t give you status in your community and wealth by legal means is just a pipe dream. But what I might have – in the end – with his advocacy is “influence; and if I can get the ear of people like His Holiness, Pope Francis – well then I would have influence in megatons! Even better because my motivations are good for all of humanity. It is all good if I can get the ears and hearts of world leaders. Well here I go again, starting to sound too full of myself. Ride that train for as long as you can Maurice, because nothing lasts forever.


So here is last night’s egotistical post:




“The shipment was sent off to His Holiness, Pope Francis!




The contents of the package to His Holiness, Pope Francis!



This type of shipment is so strange that there is a plethora of shipping documentation even now but it is in customs. Expect this package to be poked and prodded and discussed about and that is exactly what I want – especially at the Vatican end if it makes it there! I’ll be completely honest and tell you I am more than a little curious to see what happens to this shipment good or bad. Almost like a mini-adventure! I even videotaped the packaging of the shipment in my kitchen. I will probably tape a quick synopsis of the whole thing on Tuesday, we shall see. But life has got interesting again if only for a moment…..




The video setup in my squalid kitchen - now there is some reality!



Anyway, I was exhausted at the end of Monday. Just too much going on and the Pope stuff was just part of it. I get to relax a bit for a few days which for me means catching up on stuff. I will start Tuesday off with Starbucks and looking at cars – yes as boring as that, but welcomed now! But the underlying thing is the development of my mind into the “man of the world” headspace. Only a year ago I chickened out at what I am doing now and thinking about now. And the change was not so much gradual as it was a quantum leap into a new level of headspace! I had to sleep into it if I recall. But I am there and ready to pitch to the Pope if I get the chance. Never thought I would hear myself say that – but there you are. The Vatican does not even know I exist, but at my end there is massive change!


It is refreshing and so utterly cool to be doing this. Of course it could all start to go bad fast, but I can’t control what other people do or react to what I espouse. All I can do is make the play as planned. Then we see. But I will revel in whatever time I have left. To feel this feeling of being on the level of kings. To be a player on the international level. To create and disseminate an idea that could go places – big places! Just a feeling in my head and nowhere else. And that possibility – that oh so small possibility – that one day it will be in the heads of everyone on earth. My head is so large at this moment that planets are revolving around it…..


Reality soon comes crashing in and crashing that euphoria. Even if it is good news, reality has a habit of muting enthusiasm. You can’t keep these moments, just relish them for the moments they are, and then, they are gone…..



Goodnight…..”

____________________________________________________________

So that was last night. No car watching today as it is pissing rain. I do have to catch up on things, but will take it easy. I deserve a few days off. And yes we are still video taping everything and archiving it all. The experiment is over but the adventure still continues - even if it is with old video equipment and cell phones. It is all good!


Later…..
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Maurice Ali
PostPosted: Wed May 16, 2018 7:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 5517
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Well the package was delivered to the Italian Courier company on May 16, 2018. This thing is playing itself out…..


Now if it gets delivered to the mailroom everyone there is under His Holiness, Pope Frances’s instructions on how to handle the mail. I really doubt it would be signed at his residence but it would be really cool if it did!




So we wait.



Now so far, whenever I hoped for the best of human nature I was sadly disappointed. People always seemed slaves to their base instincts and base natures rather than their better natures. So I really hope we see something different here. I applaud the motivations and decisions The Holy See has made at the UN and is the reason why they are first on this list for advocacy. That is why I did it this way. If it all goes bad I don’t give up, but I may have to employ a page out of Maurice Strong’s playbook and use more Machiavellian tactics to help get the job done. Playing human weakness against human weakness to get things to a better place. I would rather play the best of human nature against itself to achieve a better end and a positive goal, but that is just me. By hook or by crook I have to try to give the kids a better world than the one I grew up in - they deserve better! But we shall see and it is all playing itself out as I type this…..





In the end it is what it is. We shall just have to see how things play out. So what am I going to do for Wednesday? Well right now I am going to go to Starbucks and get mocha with whipped cream on it and go look at cars. Yes that is what I am going to do. Then maybe update things with some video and then finish adjusting the toilet so it works like it should. You go and buy the best – Toto – and the thing doesn’t work!




Later…..
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Maurice Ali
PostPosted: Thu May 17, 2018 6:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 5517
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Well it looks like I got a head of myself. The package got delivered to the broker company and they will deliver. Or attempt to deliver it to the Vatican.

From our end it said delivered. This could be normal procedure or it could mean the package was intercepted for investigation. Things are getting really interesting! I figured it would get intercepted somewhere and properly screened so I just kept my eye on the proceedings. But it is in Rome right now. It could be refused and sent back. But it probably will be signed for and looked at. I will admit to being way too interested in the comings and goings of this package but the receiver is rather interesting.



More news as it happens…..


Back home was a morning making the Toto toilet work – which it did – and then finding out the control arm and lever had an attachment nut that had a crack and was not making the arm inside the tank actuate the mechanism properly. So off to the plumbing store where I bought the inlet tube and as hard as they looked they could not find the assembly. This was a blessing from my standpoint because the only fix now was just to give me the nut. The guy found one and charged me one dollar. Back home and guess what – the nut won’t fit! I ended up with the arrangement you see in the photo. I put the nut in one of those adjustable stainless steel clamps and tightened everything up. That is true jury-rigging and it works but the proper fix is to get the proper nut. Toto: "The best toilets in the World!"



My Toto Toilet with the new inlet tube and hose clamp nut fix on the left!


Apart from that it is just more catching up on things. The Vatican advocacy is interesting but other things have to be taken care of. The tax man wants revised forms for FOF Records. And so on. It just never ends. But that is the sit-rep as of now. It would be nice if we could truly unite the world at some core levels and move the geo-political landscape to a more tolerant one. One can only dream – but that is not what I did…..




Goodnight…..


Postscript: Well it looks like the package was finally delivered at 12:30 Vatican time!





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VuddiKKzlV8&feature=share
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Maurice Ali
PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2018 8:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 5517
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada






Well if anyone from the Vatican finds this blog of sorts and started to read: Welcome to my world!


What you have here is almost fifteen years of daily posts archiving how all of this came to be. I hope you will see that this was an honest adventure with the best of intentions at heart and give us a chance! There is no denying this is a genuine grass roots movement. The people want this and that Positive Major Mandate for Humanity at the United Nations makes sense on all levels. Please move this advocacy to the top, at least let His Holiness, Pope Francis know of its existence and let him decide if this deserves further investigation.


With the internet and other forms of immediate communication it can be said that we now have a true global community. And that community needs an idea and vision to head us all in a positive direction as a species apart from faith and religion. This is one such idea and vision and unifies everyone on earth for all the right reasons. It deserves a chance!



Goodnight…..




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Maurice Ali
PostPosted: Sat May 19, 2018 10:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 5517
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Well a long weekend for us but not the rest of the world…..


Taking it easy and catching up on stuff not related to the advocacy. A couple of things stuck out for me in my mind as we really ramped up with the advocacy and sent the package to His Holiness, Pope Francis.


First is the unspoken query as to what gives me the right to bother the Pope and ask for time to talk to him. Answer: Because I have an idea and advocacy he and The Holy See may be interested in endorsing – that is why! What is in it for the Pope to give time for anyone passing by other than to take his attention away from things that need doing? If I get time I pitch for important advocacy. The others have nothing to say to him except maybe “It is an honor to meet you! Can I take a picture for my friends cause they’d never believe this! Oh, and what’s it like riding in the Pope Mobile? Does it have air-conditioning?” and stuff like that. So there is a difference and a reason to let me have his ear for a few minutes…..


Next is why me? Because I was never bested in my prime at university. When I did philosophy while in business school at Ryerson I was practically in another universe when it came to me and the others. Ok, so they were there for business primarily. So I went to York University and in there with the philosophers and still way head by a country mile. In other words there was stuff I understood that no one other than the professor and me understood – that stark! Yes that stark, I’m sorry to say. I should have gone to graduate school and was intimated I was selected, but as usual something went wrong due to human frailty (like corruption, racism, take your pick) and I was on my own. Man, did that hurt as I thought I had finally found a place I could call home, a place where I had my place in society. But that was over thirty years ago and ancient history. I must say that nothing happened with those others that replaced me. Nothing, squat, nada….. This is what happens when idiots select other idiots in university. And yes I am calling professors – or at least some professors – idiots! How can I say that? Look at the outcome – and there you have it!




No point doing any more work because the others don't understand it anyway.....



Anyway I was thrown out into the real world and had to do things on my own. That is a lot of wasted opportunity from my viewpoint. But there you have human frailty at its best! What I and others like me have is creativity and vision. That allows me to have the sureness, the gumption to state I know where humanity should be headed and advocate for that idea. Never having been bested in my prime is the key – for it you know others are better than you – then you are not the one to advocate where humanity should be headed…..


Those like me have creativity, as in seeing things in ways others don’t. Take for example a multiple choice question I was asked to answer this week. I made a choice that turned out to be wrong but I made the choice by looking down the far right hand of all four questions vertically, while everyone else would read the answers horizontally in order and then pick. I had a cue I was looking for and the question did not fall under the usual parameters, so that tactic failed. But I told the questioner how I selected it and he probably missed the novel aspect of it all – oh well….. But seeing things in a different light is valuable. If everyone sees or looks for an answer the same way, all you are going to get is the same result. Maybe some can do it faster or more consistently but the result is the same. The creative person will look at it from different angles and planes and possibly see things that the others don’t and this may end up being a positive thing for society. Not quite the one-eyed man in the valley of the blind being king – but sort of the same thing. Vision means taking all that epistemological acumen and converting it into a plan of action to a given end. This is where you use all of your life experience - like in my case – and get a plan for humanity’s priorities and advocate for it! My isolation and whatever talents I had, made me the right person for this job. Not ideal, for a full life at my end, but it did place me in the position to make this play. The creativity and vision can occur anywhere but there are rudimentary systems like a scholastic one that gives opportunity to those with talent to stay in that realm and be all that they can be. And under my plan they would be happiest that way. I was cast (the human frailty again) out and actually became an angry Black man for want of a better term, because I had lost that place to express myself. Now that I am finally getting somewhere with my expression I am fairly happy at long last but angry I was out of that environment where I could express myself best, expression was suppressed for decades! I intend to right that wrong, for others, through ideas and advocacy. Anyway, that in a nut shell is how I came to be at this point advocating this Positive Major Mandate for Humanity at the United Nations.


And so here we are right now. Playing a waiting game and seeing what happens. One year ago I could not imagine being where I am today. I could rationalize it, but I had to make that jump to this level of advocacy by being patient and letting all aspects of my consciousness get there in its own time. But it did happen and now it is just another form of advocacy we are doing. I am following through, I am making the play. I am doing my part. I can’t make others do what I want them to do. But I can ask for their time and advocate for our ideas and see what happens. That is what is happening right now.




Goodnight…..





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ykh7zEoDS1o&feature=share
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Maurice Ali
PostPosted: Sun May 20, 2018 11:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 5517
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Nothing much to update so I will keep this short and sweet…..


I fixed the hot water problem after I fixed a leaky top in the basement. This is all a domino effect from the toilet problems at the beginning of the week. The final problem was me cutting the tap water to the water heater and then opening it up to find low water pressure upstairs. I tightened the screw that holds the handle/wheel on the valve and closed and opened the valve again and it worked! So I am done with the water problems for now and move on to the outside which looks like an African rain forest.




Downloading video today!



I also uploaded all the video from the CD release party to the Vatican stuff last night. This is a groaner of a job but it is all in my editing computer now, so another pain-in-the-ass-job is finished. The problems with the video is interfacing an old camcorder with a 2017/2017 editing program. But no need to elaborate there. I also finally got around to updating the copyright numbers on web pages to 2018 from 2017. I’m sure I missed some but most are done now. Next is taxes and so on. At least most of the receipts are filed away. The clutter is disappearing and even my clothing is being organized and put into its proper drawers.


I could go on about this personal minutia but I will spare you the endless droning.



Goodnight…..





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bT7U5wZm2FM&feature=share
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Maurice Ali
PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2018 2:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 5517
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

The weekend for catching up on things is doing just that!


Fixed my dad’s busted PVR problem buy getting a new one from the cable company and that problem is now gone. I also mowed the lawn which quite frankly looked like a jungle and it took almost 2 hours to do because the grass was so heavy. The morning was great though, as I had fun with the car. I got the cheapest sports car I could get to get back into cars and it worked. Worked a little too well as I kept thinking about upgrading, but that can wait until the advocacy is truly done. The extra cash goes to the advocacy. I will just have to be happy with being back in there albeit, as the bottom of the barrel contender…..



My wedding day!


I even had time to think about things in the present and how I could have improved things if I knew back then what I knew now. And I don’t think I could really have improved much on my situation today. My biggest gripe was the wasted time between getting out of university and starting the advocacy. The most dead time was getting married as the after marriage experimentation with the fringe elements was a necessary part of making me what I am today. But was the marriage really that mush of a waste? Let’s face it; I had to try out the marriage and kids thing if only to satisfy in my mind that it was not for me. And I did that, and it wasn’t for me. If I had no other aspirations I would have done that and tolerated it because it was that or loneliness. So I dated and got married. In the end it didn’t work out and my former wife is now married again and they have a grown daughter so she, at least, did not pay a heavy price for the time she was with me. I am the guy who came out of all that with little to show. But was it really that bleak, for one we did buy the house and I kept it going and that gave me a lot of equity. If I had never married I would have held off on the house and maybe only rented which usually means no equity when you get older, or, at best a condo with less equity. So all the money I spent on the advocacy was paid for by the housing boom in Toronto and that was a result of marriage. So it really is a tough call on that. Maybe I could have saved five years knowing everything happening in the future. But I could not go to my grave without at least trying to do the family thing and I did that – so maybe this is as good as I could have done all along. I pushed this whole adventure as fast as I could and still am. There simply is no romantic fairytale of a young guy doing what I am doing now. The time is not there for that reality. I still can look the part. Still look younger than my years and all those cheap affections of a younger man are still around me. But I am not a young man.


In the perfect world I would still be in my thirties and able to take full advantage of any positive changes we could make to our society. Making the changes and getting married and having kids while all this happened. But they take years to get things done and to get you into that headspace, and those attributes are not there at that younger age. Marriage and kids take away the time and money to do any of this. You can’t have it all! So I am back to my reality being the only reality that was ever open to me. I still have an open future and how long that lasts is not up to me. It’s not that bad to be me right now. But I wanted it all and it won’t happen. That is reality…..



Goodnight…..
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Maurice Ali
PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2018 6:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 5517
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

The long weekend is over and by what I wanted to do it was a success…..


I did everything that had to be done. The personal taxes are done and go out on Monday. The grass was cut and the exterior of the house got a once over since the winter. I even preened myself up and cleaned up around the house. Finally got all that video into the editor and filed away all sorts of stuff in the studio. I even sorted through clothing – just all sorts of stuff that you do because you have time. I did pig out on food in celebration of finally doing the global advocacy thing and realizing the “man of the world” persona.


But that is a mixed bag as while it is a success marker for me personally, it is also a reality marker in other ways. When it comes to what I can do by myself it is all good. But to be successful in this advocacy I need help. You always fear the worst and I basked in the outdoor sun and the glory of achievement when we sent the stuff off to the Vatican. This happened fast before we got any possible rejection. So we are in limbo until we get some kind of sign from the Vatican on what it thinks about our request. And really we just have to wait to see if there is any response. There is not much more to say than that.


What I can say is that you realize that you have actually reached a stage where you have a chance, just a chance, to make a difference. 15 years for a chance and compromising your life in so many ways. You constantly think about the opportunity cost for doing all this on a chance for a chance; as opposed for the sure things in life like family and accumulation of wealth. The strange thing is that you were quite successful at this game of advocacy or influence. After a decade and a half you actually do have a chance to change things. But what a price you pay!


So why?







I always say it was a moral imperative and this is true. But why do that when so many did you so much wrong, so much pain? Well I’m not so much doing it for my contemporaries as much as I do it for the kids. It comes up in your daily interaction on a regular basis. Like I was at Johnny’s today to get a burger, fries and a Coke. While waiting this single mother (a White woman with a mixed race child) sits down beside me. Anyway the kid starts staring at me with those big vacant eyes. Then the kid starts to do this dance for me giggling and still staring with those eyes. The mother just smiled and told her “the man just wants to listen to his music” as I had the phones on. I just told her “The Man” wasn’t listening to any music in reality. But it was plain the kid just felt a natural affinity to me sort of like it would feel to its real father if he was around like he should be! That child just accepted me as one of its own. They just implicitly expect you have their best interests at heart because they can’t make it on their own. And that is what suckered me into all this. The kids never did anything to me. And they give you that look and play with you in that way that proves you are not prejudged in their eyes like the adults do all the time. Another example from today – So I’m driving in the neighborhood and the father of this kid gives me a look like “crap, another Ni**er” driving around in my neighborhood” while the kid was just looking at me wide-eyed. Again we locked eyes but he was just looking at a man driving this shiny black sports car. And that is it right there! If people like me do nothing to improve the lot of life in the world, those innocent kids will pick up all the more negative traits of humanity while having the more positive ones strangled like expression usually is. And they will get frustrated with life which feeds the negativity that makes them prejudge people negatively, just like the parents do. But the kids sucker you into action. You have to try and make the world a better place for them, even though I have no kids. But if I can bring in an idea, a concept that makes them happier as a group, well then I am in all of them and in a way they are all mine!


So as frustrating as all this is, as unproblematic as success may be, I have to keep trying. The irascible part is that I am one of the more successful attempts at this type of thing. If I give up I have really failed humanity and myself. So you just have to keep trying and pitching. I just wish I didn’t feel like I was the only one in the world that gives a damn! Things are still early yet. This advocacy with states at the United Nations has just begun. But before it possibly goes bad I just want to cling to that feeling of empowerment and hope I have now that you can actually change things, change the world. Technology has changed the world and opened the door to rapid change with easy dissemination of ideas through the internet and other media. It can happen…..



Goodnight…..





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