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Maurice Ali



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 5553
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 12:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Non-stop snow so I am watching movies galore.....


All those movies I bought when HMV went out of business are being watched now. I just finished with one which I won’t name but it was getting tedious. So I took a break halfway through and read some critic reviews. Only one and in German and I actually translated it and it was positive. Other reader reviews were just scathing. It got me thinking about our own little project. Well there is a difference in that ours is real and a documentary with an experiment and a point; and it has gone somewhere. But these types of movies make you uncomfortable. Anyway, I watched the second half and unbelievably – it was even worse than the first half! And they spent money on this thing! Anyway, I would have re-edited the thing and taken all the romance out of this action movie. This is one movie I am sort of kind to in that at least it portrays a brown guy in a good light instead of having him be the terrorist of which there is one in this movie. They even gave the character some happy closure at the end with the protagonist and his wife – again – about to have a baby..... Anyway the less said about this film the better. That movie does not even drop down to the level of cheesy to save itself! Just bad with a few redeeming characteristics. Anyway enough of that.....


The other movies were better made, but many had New York in the background. I tell you I saw the same view of Manhattan from Central Park showing that unique Hearst building in three movies one after another. Premium Rush and Jumper and maybe Call Up come to mind immediately. I’m not going to check but it’s like everyone has to shoot in Central Park! It all just gets tedious after a while. At least Premium Rush is set in New York but those others just seem obligatory in mention.





Anyway that leads me to our TV stuff and Hail Mary play to that big broadcaster. Mums the word, but I did get down to HBO and checked out their gift shop! But it’s back to snacking and watching movies and then shovelling snow.....


Later.....
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Maurice Ali



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 5553
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 1:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I’m getting ready to go back to the usual.....


Yes, my mini-vacation is over and back the usual. Still watching movies and some of these are quite bad. I do other things as I watch these like annual returns for three of the corporations. Then I move onto the taxes.





Anyway I won’t bore you with that. But I will close off my trip to New York. First of all on Tuesday to took a ride around the city just in case I have to commute to Manhattan.



Stacked Train lines in Long Island!


I left Grand Central (terminal not station) and went to Long Island/Queens on the number 7 subway and got off around Queens Plaza Station where many of the hotels should be, though I didn’t find any walking around. So I got back on the subway and took the 6 car back to Grand Central and then took the 4 car as if I was going to Wall Street or the Statue of Liberty/Freedom Tower. Then it was back to the hotel and getting ready for the trip back home. So in a way the trip was just preparing for the plays that have to be made and nothing more. But it was all successful in the end so I can’t complain.


It would have been nicer if I actually had some nice weather for the rest of the week but this is February and snow is what can happen. That is about it for now. Back to the company stuff and “B” grade movies.....



Later.....
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Maurice Ali



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 5553
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Mon Feb 12, 2018 12:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Vacation is over and a late one for me.....


Late because I watched an interesting Korean Movie called “Into the Mirror”. Yes I am watching Korean movies now. Anyway, the vacation of sort of is over. I attended the Commission for Social Development and set up the office in Manhattan. We are petitioning another major player in the TV industry but don’t count on anything happening, but you never really do know..... I learned how to get around New York by subway, and back home all the various taxes are ready to be worked on. I have noticed that I didn’t show you guys myself in any of the photos so here is a selfie taken at the UN.





The translator ear piece is just for show as everyone was speaking English at the time but it is used a lot at the UN. The other wire to my ear is from the iPhone for music when things got boring. So that is what I look like now. I still have hair on my head and all, still trying to stay young if you can say that at my age.


My age? I cry about some tiny cyst on the inside of my lip while others have real problems that limit what they can do. I still have squirrels in my attic. And I want some good weather so I can have some fun with my car even though it is just a V6 Mustang. Those are some of my problems. Most people my age have a grocery list of real problems, but if I had these it would spell the end of the advocacy at this point in development. No – The Fates want their entertainment so I get the small niggling problems that don’t impact of the big show which is the experiment and the advocacy. Things have to play themselves out! The play has to be played. So as of right now everything is set up and we just need to get our invite and start advocating member nations. On the entertainment side is the music and TV stuff. It is all fun and a drain on finances but I can handle it all better than most. I have the ability to possibly make change while for everyone else it is just a fairy tale. To be in a position to possibly do it is almost fairy tale time, but there actually is a road map to change and it is possible from where I stand, so we go forward. We go forward and on it goes. I have been at the UN three years now and it seems not that long, but it is. I don’t know how some of you can keep following this year after year. It must be boring compared to TV.


But this is reality.....


My only escape is the movies, mostly on DVDs and the car stuff which I used to love doing back in the day. All sorts folk in that car hobby or secret hobby for some. You never know who you will meet out there.....




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lpx9AwegKeo&feature=share


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRLKByE6tik&feature=share
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Maurice Ali



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 5553
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Tue Feb 13, 2018 9:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well its back to the usual now.


I did get a bit of a worry Monday as I thought I was coming down with something, and that makes you think “what” as you were out of the country at airports and international venues where you could pick up all manner of foreign bugs. There’s no SARS or Ebola to worry about but still you worry. And then you get up the next morning and fine and perky as usual. So another bullet dodged and back to business as usual.


For Tuesday I will go to the office and see what’s been going on. I also have to print off a pile of tax forms and start working on that. Maybe rinse off the car. In other words, the usual.....



Ballet in Central Park!


I have the time to post some more photos of New York and mostly Central Park. I take a walk early in the morning to start things off. And on my last trip there was this small independent film being shot by the Time Warner building in the park near one of the statutes. The whole troop goes at it in ballet form but when everyone is in play the action looks weird as in awkward poses that are actually movements don’t’ transform as a group to any form of aesthetic. The photo or stills I have shown is half of the troop getting into it as that expresses the best of the movement in still life. Oh well.....



Central Park and the New York skyline from that vantage!


And that is about it for now. I will go with anything when it is ready but I am not pushing things yet. Just chilling.....



Later.....
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Maurice Ali



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 5553
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Wed Feb 14, 2018 8:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

There was a trial with an acquittal for a White farmer against a First Nations (American Indian) shooting the resulted in death. Now during the discussion of First Nations and their discrimination in the justice system many First Nations people discussed what it was like to grow up in Canada. One lady was quite honest and said the White people used to yell racist stuff at you all the time. Funny but I forgot about that. One my first day of school I came running home to my mom about being called nigger and being picked on and followed home by the kids taunting me; it never ended all the way to when we left at age fifteen. You would just be walking down some street and someone would yell ”Nigger” (and yes everyone agrees if it was used against you get to use it – so I get to use it without recrimination). Just like that out of the blue. Later when we lived in Toronto there was discrimination against Pakistanis and anyone brown. So I’m walking down the side walk past this young Asian woman and as I pass I hear “Paki, Paki, Paki!” which at the time was more funny than anything else but you do tend to repress this stuff in your mind. You just accepted it as the way things were and you desperately wanted the acceptance and love of these people who shit on you because you had no other community to identify with. You got walked on basically, and smiled back because you didn’t know any better. But the worst was the systemic racism.



Me as a 6 year old (taken with an early Poloroid instant camera)!


So back with this First Nations women on what it was like to grow up Indian; she said something that maybe didn’t click with anyone but me when she said it. And I don’t even know if she got the nuance of what she said and what a death sentence to ambition it was. She said Indians were barred from learning French. Big deal you say? But it is a big deal as in Alberta you needed to speak French and get a passing grade in French classes to get into university! Here in Ontario we don’t have that requirement which was odd when I came here, but the jist of it is that without the French no Indian in the western provinces could go to university. No Doctors, Educators, Engineers or lawyers or lawmakers for the most part. That bit of systemic racism condemned most Indians to a lower and less influential standard of living. What incensed me most is how they tried that shit with me back in the day. Keep them out of university. Even with a degree or two you still were not guaranteed a job let alone a career. But a society that claims everyone is equal was a bogus lie back then and systemic involvement was in place to make sure it was a lie and we all paid for that system with our taxes. Racism is real and you just have to keep an eye on people because without a great mandate for behaviour most humans will revert to their lower base behaviours.


That is why my positive mandate for humanity – though simple – works even here. The fullest expression of mind and body can’t happen if you restrict access to education by racist means. You need a standard of behaviour or a road sign for what we must aim for to combat this crap that exists all over our global culture. So yes I really am going for it. I want to advocate and get interest in the Positive Mandate for Humanity. There is a point to all the money and time spent to get to this strategic point.


As an individual I have an obligation to others to correct this situation if I can - that moral imperative. And we have a chance.....



Goodnight and Happy Valentine’s Day for Wednesday.....





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJPdvjmPOic&feature=share
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Maurice Ali



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 5553
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Thu Feb 15, 2018 11:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I back to working on the orgs, or maintenance of the orgs. I am losing whatever weight I put on while on vacation. Doing what I did before the vacation.


Right now it is doing boring taxes; that and paying things off. Money comes in and money goes out and I have to master that. Anyway it is a boring time now and the weather for the most part comes along with it. Trust me, things will start happening soon, maybe good news or maybe bad, but things will start happening again. Every time I see one of my contemporaries they either have health problems or are retiring or if older they are dying. If I just hung around all these folk it could get rather depressing or distressing. Thankfully the orgs are populated with young people as I sort of hide away from reality there. Reality will get me as it seems to be hitting me now. I will completely hit the wall and officially become and old man. No woman will ever want me and there I will be wearing a beret and moving slowly – another human pylon for the kids to walk around. I will take pleasure in sitting down somewhere and watching life go by as I have no life....That will be my life some day, and hopefully not for a while. But nobody beats the devil and nobody dodges aging and death. They get everyone all the time, and no exceptions. The only questions are what happens with all that advocacy and all those dreams I had as a kid, gave up on, and funnily enough, now have a chance to get. My life is strange in that I basically gave up on the dreams and career I envisioned as a 20 something and bingo – you are back in the game with all the usual suspects ducking it out for relevancy and legacy.



A possible grave design!


We will soon see what happens to me. This blog of sorts may get real bland and then outright boring and then just stop..... With the obligatory entry that I was found dead alone in my house for quite some time. Decayed beyond belief and closed casket to the few that bother to show up. There you will be in some cheap grave that nobody visits..... That will ultimately be my epitaph.



Goodnight.....





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1osAui0ue0&feature=share
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Maurice Ali



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 5553
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Fri Feb 16, 2018 10:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

We are starting a long weekend after today. The purpose of the weekend is of course the taxes.


I have to force myself to do this stuff. So for Friday morning I get the profit and loss information and then I can take a break. After that I will give the car a quick rinse down in the garage as it is covered with watered down salt spray from all that snow that melted at the side of the road. The temperatures are dropping so the car may actually stay clean for a bit. Then back inside to check the tax forms and off to print those. Then I am set for the corporate taxes. I will also work on some personal taxes also. Taxes, taxes and more taxes..... Tyrone called me up at 1:45am to talk about some music concert later on in the year. I won’t get into it, just to show you what I do is a 24/7 type of thing. Your are never out of it – you live it!



I also officially start advocating member nations of the UN. This may go nowhere fast but I have to start and try. Making speeches and all at the UN was fun but been there and done that. If I have something to say then we try to say it there. But I need to graduate to real advocacy there and it starts now. The prime focus will be the Positive Major Mandate for Humanity as introduced at our side event last February. I know where to start and we shall see what happens. Just don’t expect much but you never know. In reality I am in uncharted territory here. Nobody knows what will happen with this type of advocacy because it has – as far as I know – never been done before. This in essence is “man of the world” stuff without question. Even with failure I will have realized the biggest dream or fantasy of my youth. That is just so cool on so many levels; I just wish it didn’t come at such a large price. But that is life, you have some choices and some you don’t and the life that is yours plays out for better or worse. So it goes with my life. There is a road map for change but no text books on how to arrive at each check point. I will just have to fumble and bumble my way through.......



Raymond as my "Best Man" at my wedding!


So the actual start of real advocacy on the positive mandate has started with this acknowledgment right here as I type this. I will not say anything on the IAIJ website, just when things in a physical sense start to happen. But my mind-set is there. It was not in 2017. Again this is just so wack! But we are strategically positioned to make the play and so I make the play. No turning back out of fear now. Just make the play for good or bad. No regrets..... I will add that it is disappointing to have friends and such die and never go the distance on this journey with you. Even if there is some jealousy from contemporaries, if you were close friends there is a certain satisfaction accomplishing things among those you grew up with. Sort of an endorsement of your life among those that lived it with you. Certainly my mom was my biggest cheerleading squad – but apart from my General Assembly speech, she will miss everything else. Sort of the same with my best friend Raymond, he always thought I was really smart and all that was wasted, but things started to develop and I was finally getting real respect and pride from him in the end - but then he died of a heart attack. What I am trying to tell you is that accomplishments in a vacuum are not the same as accomplishments in a crowd of contemporaries. You want to show those that grew up, that mocked you or wrote you off that things have changed. This may seem selfish but it is what it is. Mike Dukakis after winning the Presidential nomination in 1988 for President of the United States publically expressed his regret that his father was not there to see it for himself. More recently was Tiger Woods wining a tournament just after his father died and as he sunk the ball you could see him characteristically look around for his dad and realized he was no longer there and he broke down and cried. That is how it is. The death of my mother is obvious, but with my best friend it goes all the way back to us just hanging out in some classroom together in high school talking about what we wanted to do with our lives – and you just want to be with someone who was there along with you (in this case over 40 years) who knows what that means for you even if it is a best friend along with some rivalry; I don’t know how to put it any better than that.....



I know that feeling now......




Goodnight.....





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ht4BOSlVeY4&feature=share
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Maurice Ali



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 5553
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Sat Feb 17, 2018 10:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A quickie today because I want to go to the Canadian International Auto Show!


Yes it has been a while but with the newish car I have to feed the addiction! So off I go early. I also have to hand some reference letters to Sam and all the usual. You are never completely free of the businesses – but free enough now.


Let me tell you, things may get really busy in a hurry with the projects we have going on now, so going to the auto show and later hanging around some old haunts downtown is just the ticket for a lazy February long weekend.....


Later.....
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Maurice Ali



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 5553
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Sun Feb 18, 2018 10:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well Saturday started off with me delivering some reference letters to Sam. I did this on my way down to the auto show and basically got Sam out of her bed wiping the sleep out of her eyes, sans makeup and all that. She still looks good and I keep warning my gang that they are always on camera with me. Anyway she did mention she was still in bed when I pulled up to her place and this is what she looks like.




There is Samantha, and I just had to show that wild reheaded cowlick she has going on there!



Anyway this lady grew up with the organization, I have known her since 15 or so. Funny to see them all grown up and strange to see some possible influence you have on them. Influence as they glean things off you but apply them to things you would never get involved in. Anyway, that is as close as I get to raising kids, you worry about them getting into trouble but laud the characteristics that get them into that trouble; and all you can do is sit back and watch them grow up and it all unfold.



Some of the crowd at this year’s auto show!


Anyway it was all road construction from Sam’s place down to Front Street by the lake shore and the Canadian International Auto Show. It was the second day and you were herded from one place to another like cattle. Mostly guys with some families and some on dates, dragging their girls to the auto show. Trying to cop a feel of her ass in the crowd and having her put their hand back on her waist, that sort of thing. Funny to see other kids doing what you did at their age, something’s never change. I won’t bore you with never ending photos of ordinary cars – but here are a couple of interesting ones:



An old GM 1958 Firebird 3 – Front!



An old GM 1958 Firebird 3 –Back!



The Mercedes-AMG Project 1 car!




And so that was the 2018 Canadian International Auto Show. For Sunday it is taxes but I will find time in the morning to take a trip up north and look at a few cars sipping on a coffee as I used to do. Man, my little V6 Mustang turned out to be my dream sports car of youth with aluminum panels, independent rear suspension and top sped over 150 miles per hour. That was my wish list back in the day and now I have it. That is just a laugh in so many ways but that is how things happen. That dream gets crossed off the list with a car I never thought would be it – but it is.... There is a life lesson there I guess.....





Anyway off to the open road I go.....
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Maurice Ali



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 5553
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Mon Feb 19, 2018 8:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well the big news is that I slept most of Sunday , but the payback was that I started writing the first advocacy letter to a member nation of the United Nations to propose that Positive Major Mandate for Humanity! Lots of sleep worked its magic and the question mark as to when I would actually pull the trigger on this has been answered – as in it has already happened! So as I do the taxes today I also am doing the first overtures for the positive mandate play. This could be over before it starts so just be aware of that, but that is just the targeted play. The long term effort will take years of advocacy if that direct approach fails. But either way this thing is going ahead right now. Now is the word as nobody has a crystal ball. I could die tomorrow. All sorts of stuff can happen to knobble a plan, so the best offence is not to delay. Losers wait – is a common statement by those that like to strike when the moment presents itself. So we are going ahead – just like that – after a full day of sleep. It is true that while our subconscious mind may be a drag on our plans, that part of our mentality rules in the end and we are only ready when it is ready.


I am ready now!


In other news I celebrated with some late Chinese food and drove my car around. It was late and I didn’t want any action, just a coffee and a look at some new cars but at that enthusiast Tim Hortons meeting place, cars would just slowly pass my parked car as if to ask a question, so I knew getting out of there would not be easy. Sure enough I see a gap in the action and take off down the road, but someone got beside me at a light egging me on to race. No deal this night and he took off for some other mark. Then when I turned onto this road to take me to the highway a guy in a truck started following me looking for some action....#^%$**!!! I hadn’t taken the engine to red-line in ages and wondered if the break in still was done right and so I floored it on the on-ramp and it dutifully went to red-line so I was satisfied and lost the truck all in one fell swoop. All this because that damned auto show had everyone in the mood.




Jaguar E Type



Above was one of my dream cars (photographed at the auto show) when I was a kid: Jaguar E Type. Enzo Ferrari himself said the Jaguar E Type was the most beautiful car ever built. We lusted after the V12 but the six cylinders were faster with that 150 mile per hour top speed and all independent suspension. The racing version had all aluminum body work while the production version had a mix all the way down to dash supports. Anyway, as per my statements yesterday I lusted after these sports cars with their exotic body materials and independent suspension and that 150mph speed that quickly became the definition of a true sports car. That is why I laugh at my Mustang with the same specs for 0-60, ¼ mile and top speed. It also has aluminum front fenders and hood. Actually it is a bit faster than all of the Jags from that era but I will over look the performance cushion and say they are the same due to tire technology. Even engine power and torque is a bit better in my car but strangely similar. All similar down to the long hood and the usual black interior. I got what I lusted after! Just not the way I wanted it – but the Fates gave me what I originally lusted after.


That sort of brings you back to the more general question of whether you fulfill your original dreams, or ditch them in favour of more updated dreams. The car thing fulfilled that childhood dream. Moving the bar because today’s cars meet some of those dreams easily, kind of defeats the purpose of fulfilling dreams. So – say, I bought a Tesla electric car instead. That early dream would never be fulfilled. Make this a common thing and no dreams will ever be fulfilled because you keep changing the parameters of what you want. I am rather faithful to my dreams of the past and that can see you doing and purchasing things that don’t mesh with the current style. But just keep checking those boxes of things you always wanted in life and I guarantee you will be more satisfied with yourself on your death bed. That is just my little philosophical take on things this day.....





Goodnight.....
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Maurice Ali



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 5553
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Tue Feb 20, 2018 3:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

So the long weekend is over and I slept through much of it.


I am deep into the taxes and some have already been finished. The first contact letters are being made as I type this and that is the big news right now. Sleep and more sleep have done wonders for the advocacy on that positive mandate. I now have a package I can send out as a precursor to a possible meeting with a member nation at the UN to discuss the positive mandate. Of course that does not mean we will get any traction or even a reply, but we have to make the play. You never know and like selling the TV series for airplay or distribution, nothing will happen until you start getting it out there.


And that is the big thing – that nothing will happen unless you take those first steps and get the idea out there and the willingness to meet with member nations of the UN about the idea and its merits. The reason for all the sleep is to get up the gumption, to know you are the one to do something as bold as this. That is my rational minded take on it. My subconscious may have its own take on it – in the end it is what it is. But at the end of it all I am going for it! This thing is being played out! That is what this weekend was about. Not the auto show or the cars at night, but the mindset I needed to start actually contacting and advocating member nations. We made it to the UN. I gave all kinds of speeches. So now is the one on one advocacy. We just keep developing as an organization. And this has to be done as fast as possible. Human beings are their own worst enemy. And I can’t count on things being comfortable and encouraging to continue easily on this crusade. You would think people would endorse my mandate idea and make things easy for me to do this as it is good for all. But you can’t count on that. The history books are full of people who do good things and fall spectacularly in their personal lives. Sometimes it is self made and sometimes society does it just by being what it is. Bottom line is I can’t plan strategy based on others helping me out. Certainly not financially, but you just watch. The reason most people live hard lives is that they never seem to work together to help each other. I won’t even get into that as it is so large a topic, but make no mistake, things will probably get rough for me as I go along. It does not have to be this way but humans are frail, humans fail, and humanity is often its own worst enemy. About all I can hope for is to somehow – against all odds (truer words were never spoken) - get the mandate enshrined at the UN and then deal with all the bad stuff that will come my way. It won’t be pretty but if I can get the mandate in there; well then, I will happily jump into that six foot deep pit and they can start throwing dirt on me.


There will probably be no happy ending here for me. But the Fates don’t care about me individually. Individually I really am just an animated bag of shit, but as an avatar for a cause I can do things. But as an individual my life is a vacuum, no real mate, no real family and no real future personally. That is my personal fate. But we will see what happens with the advocacy.....




Goodnight.....
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Maurice Ali



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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Wed Feb 21, 2018 11:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well I pulled victory out of the jaws of defeat and did the taxes and got the first draft to the positive mandate done before the start of the work week on Tuesday.....


At first I was elated by getting it all done and thinking about it. I am actually a “man of the world” as I fantasized back in my youth. While in my mind that sounds really grandiose and important – all I am really doing is sending off a proposal of an idea for a new mandate at the UN that probably has little chance of going anywhere. I might not even get a reply from those member nations I send the correspondence to. So depending on your perspective it is the culmination of my life’s work – or – just a futile gesture in a massive world that does not care and where I matter less than an ant on an ant hill.....


That is just two ways of looking at the same action. And that is the reality from different perspectives. You may have preferred my version where that proposed mandate is one of the most important things in the history of humanity where such a mandate comes at the perfect time of flux in our culture and serves as a road sign for where humanity should be headed. Or just some miserable man trying to justify money and years of his life pursuing a flawed dream that results in futility. Who is to know? The futile side probably has probability behind it. But there is a gambler’s chance of the other possibility. And that possibility is a possibility! And how many on this earth are in a position to make a credible play like I can?


The real question is whether I go ahead or shrink back out of fear of failure. There really is no answer other than go ahead and try. As long as there is possibility there is hope. And there are so few doing this you have to act. It is also possible that I am the only one doing something like this right now. You have to act. In this crazy world of 7.5 billion people how many are doing what I am doing. A number less than the fingers on your hand – or just me? That is so wack. It’s crazy, it’s insane; it’s so far past the line of normalcy that anything and everything goes. In a way the rules don’t apply because we are here to make the rules if that make any sense. I have spent my whole life thinking about this – even as kid. I spent the past 14 years preparing for this and here I am. Everything I have ever done in my life has lead to this moment.


You have to act.



You just prepare the thing as best you can and send it off for whatever reaction awaits. It really is as simple as that. Make the play, make the play, and make the play.....




Goodnight.....
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Maurice Ali



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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Thu Feb 22, 2018 9:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just a quickie for today.....



I have an appointment with the dentist so all I will do is maybe send off the taxes and that is about it. Going to the doctor and dentist, when does it end? Worrying about retirement. These now seem to be luxuries if you don’t have to think about them as in you don’t know what you have not thinking about health and retirement – until you have to start thinking about them. Then you get the “oh so that’s why old people are so cranky and pissed off” moment. We can’t prevent growing old but hopefully I can put the medical thing back in its box and maybe the retirement thing back in its box for a few more years. That is a luxury at my age.....





Later.....





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F63Wcg0P8NU&feature=share
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Maurice Ali



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 5553
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Fri Feb 23, 2018 12:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I waffled back and forth about it this morning and figured I opened the door to this so I may as well go through with the whole thing. Well I made an appointment with my dentist to look at that lump, he figured it was worthwhile to see a specialist and sent me to this guy who did gum work on me back in the day. That appointment was for the next day which is today. Things happening very fast. Long and short is that he is going to cut that lump out of my mouth on Monday, again very fast. Then he is going to send it for a biopsy. In fact the whole thing is probably a biopsy with the removal being an added bonus at the end.


Now for me, them wanting a biopsy means they have a question as to whether it is cancer. There I said it, the cancer word. There is no way to slough that off! I don’t smoke or drink (even though I brag about drinking occasionally) and nobody in my family tree ever had cancer, so the results should be negative, but you never know.....


So what to do? Just worry and trying not to worry. I will say that if by some chance they do sit me down and tell me I have cancer – I am just going to burst out laughing!!!!! Seriously I will! Of all the scenarios I thought about – cancer really was not one of them. So much so I used to joke about the stage 4 pancreatic cancer. I guess I should stop joking about it. When I got back for the doctor I looked at the lump and no way could that be cancer. I did walk around the mall and Google how people found out they had cancer and most seemed to know their bodies and figured something was up. For me this was mostly cosmetic and now morphed into this cancer scare – for me anyway. But you start to think. My GP said it was a cyst linked to the lymph system. Hum..... Then the “red lesion” – Humm.... And now biopsy – Hummm...


You think about the worst and how you should really make a good and proper will and have succession in place at the orgs. The reality is if you really did have cancer you would still have time to get your house in order. If I can’t put everything back into the medical box in my life any innocence on death will be gone and the clock will be ticking even if you beat it. You are on a permanent countdown from now on. That part sucks. It will have an effect on me and the advocacy. We will just have to see. Fight or flight. I’d rather fight but maybe I’m a coward in the end. This moment had to happen sooner or later and maybe it is just happening now. The moment you start fighting for your life - the moment you lose that last bit of innocence. That last moment you could isolate yourself from the reality of the finiteness that is you existence. Everyone dies, we just don’t know how or when. Cancer sort of gives you the “how” and “when” unlike dying in an accident. Rationally the cancer death is preferable due to the gradual nature that allows you to plan ahead. But it is painful and all the rest. There are no right answers when it comes to your mortality.


Anyway that is what is happening to me right now. I will get in front of the camera on the weekend and finally update things. I will do whatever I feel like doing. It could all change permanently from Monday on. So enjoy all the possibilities and the open future now while you can. It could all end next week


Nothing lasts forever. Finding that out is always a shock. Don’t get too worried about this. This is mostly just to keep things interesting on this board on the premise it is nothing. Anything can happen but I think not – but you never know.....




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aSQN_-1V-E&feature=share
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Maurice Ali



Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 5553
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Sat Feb 24, 2018 7:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well Friday sucked the big one.....


I guess Friday may go down as one big day in a bad way. Now nothing has been said, but this guy looking at my mouth was clearly checking me out for cancer. He said nothing but had his game face on which is never a good sign. So I go under the knife on Monday. It could mean nothing, it really could just be a cyst – but if they are doing a biopsy you can’t be in denial about the risks. I got out of his office after about an hour. Then the shock and gallows humour began. I sort of had an abbreviated “fives stages of grief” and got straight to acceptance even though nothing has been confirmed. Rationally I should be in the clear. There actually is one person in my family that had a rare slow growing cancer but that was it and it is not immediate family. But anyone can get cancer. A mongrelized guy like me should have hardened DNA that is not over-writable, but you never know. My superhuman physiology may be a myth after all. When you finished work and all, you decide to treat yourself, a sort of final tour of the good life before all hell breaks loose with the start of cancer treatments. So I went to Johnny’s Hamburgers to drown my sorrow. Me and my late departed best friend used to go to Johnny’s so this one was for him. I even smuggled Johnny’s Hamburgers into the hospital for him back in the day. I didn’t even bring along my phone. I just ordered and looked at the folk there and took in the atmosphere.





You think of things. Like if they find cancer are they going to cut out part of my face and leave me like The Phantom of the Opera? Cancer is like throwing a grenade into your life. I have responsibilities and all that hinged on my being around for like another thirty years. Actually when I say thirty years, you realize that is not a long time and even if you are healthy the clock is already ticking.....


It grenades the IAIJ and FOF thing to a certain degree. With regard to the IAIJ “one man show” I have already talked to one of the directors about the upcoming highlights and there will be succession if need be. I’ll try to keep everything going. I’m keeping the moment secret from my family unless they read this, but whatever - it is what it is. I could go on and on but I really just want to get out and look at some cars. Then back home and put away all that stuff from the taxes. Fix the toilet which is the mechanism in the tank is getting gummed up. Then I guess I want to work on the positive mandate stuff and have it ready to go if the big “C” bomb drops later in the week. It is almost incredible how I could go from one healthy reality to fighting for your life all in the span of a day, but there you are.


Your life can change on a dime and I am living proof. Casual acquaintances are already planning exit strategies because who wants to befriend someone dying of cancer. They start to treat you like someone who has a terminal disease. Anyway nothing is certain yet, I can still hope, but they are looking for cancer, or a confirmation. There really isn’t much more to say about it all now. Just cut it out and see what the biopsy says. Now we are really playing the game of life. Now we are really playing for keeps. If there is nothing in the end this trip into death is a good stress test for myself and the orgs as to how prepared we are for this type o f possibility. I need to finish my will and update it for example.


The one strange thing is that my perception has not changed yet. The world is still small enough to fit in the palm of my hand. I still see myself as having the possibility to change things. To alter the base programming of everyone on earth with the mandate. The cancer stuff should have grown the earth to earth size and brought me back into myself as the ultimate of introspection as I deal with my mortality. Hasn’t happened yet and that is the big reveal so far. Of course the real test is what happens two weeks from now with a positive biopsy result, oh well, nothing I do now can change anything. If you have the big C you have it already. If not, you got a much needed jolt back to reality and the things that matter and the things that have to be done. I also need to cut my hair. Like I said I could go on and on but I should go out now and look at some cars. Things are going to happen quickly enough. Didn’t see this happening and now I know why it is so hard to do what I am doing, shit happens and scuttles those plans. But I am far enough along and this is an organization and there will be succession. This is the only thing I have created and the only legacy I will have. It will go on.....


But first things first – I want that thing cut out of my mouth.....





Goodnight.....





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-DOeEkqOZg&feature=share
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